babysteps .

" love is blind "

today was the first day of school.. it felt really really weird cause i wasn't able to see you :/ .. felt as if i haven't seen you for such a long time . sigh ..

i .. hurt you again today with my thoughts .. i'm sorry .. idk why i will anyhow think these kinda things also .. i wish i knew how to stop it :'c !! I really wish i knew .  first day and i made you sad and hurt already .. :/ ! sigh.. my heart hurts just as much when i hurt you .. i really want you to feel happy and feel loved ! i don't ever want you to think that you're alone or no one cares about you.

To me , i think you're beautiful you don't have to put make up or anything, as long as it's you. you're beautiful to me ! doesn't matter how the other girls look like, i don't bother . cause that's their problem it's not important at all . to me all that matters is that you're happy, secured and safe . im sorry i made you paranoid and moodless today .. i shouldn't have talked about other girls , making you paranoid and stuff :/ ! i just wana assure you that no matter how pretty or how err big their thing is it doesn't matter to me ok ? cause i only love you .

Don't think that i'll find you irritating cause of you being paranoid or any of your other problems, hey you can tahan so much for me already what makes you think i can't too ?! silly girl.. my job is to always make u feel secured and loved what makes you think i'll get tired of it ? :/ ! don't ever think that way ok ? and idiot.. was all you want my full attention :'( ? you have it okay ! no one else will & please don't suffer alonee.. idc even if u're paranoid everynight i also want you tell me , i'll sayang you and let you sleep soundly ok ? im here for you ~

love,
benjamin .

ps, looking forward to your cake :') !