One moment my heart says it's her another it says it's you. I wish i could have met you first or i didn't knew you at all.. I don't wana lose you but i can't seem to completely put her down. I feel guilty loving you cause i still have feelings for her. But as of now, i can say i killed most of it i guess.. I'm scared of hurting you.. I hurt myself just as much when i do.. trust me when i say that. I really wana have a restart at everything.. but sadly i can't. I'm really sorry for hurting you... Although its totally unreasonable to be asking something from you but im asking.. could u give me time to sort out what my real feelings are ? Yes.. its true.. when she talks to me feelings do come back.. but i don't know how to explain it.. its confusing. So i asked you to read this is to maybe give me some time and let me settle my feelings and when im ready i'll tell you.. I'd never wanted to hurt you.. never. I'm sorry for being a jerk and messing with feelings like that.. FOTY that day i'll give u an explanation and an answer or earlier.. Right now i still have feelings for you but im scared to say it out because it might just be out of guilt so i need time to prove it to myself.. we're cancers so i know how hurt you are now.. if i could do anything to heal it i would.. & now i just wana tell you that.
if i wana love you, i wana love you right.. I too forgot how to love someone correctly cause of my past and all.. i made similar mistakes and i don't wana do those stupid mistakes if we're together..
Benjamin..
Ps, only you know this blog so yea.. :/ I suck at expressing myself so ill use this blog to explain to u stuff.. ok ? </3 sorry for everything..
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